Serious question. How do working moms ever feel like they are giving 100%?
This is something I have grappled with since going back to work after baby number one, but you would think ten years into a career, three babies later, a soul crushing pandemic after – that this feeling of only ever being able to show up as half an individual would go away. But as time ticks on the pressure to make an impact & the crushing weight of time adds increasing pressure to prioritize what matters in both worlds.
Feeling like I’m just getting a passing grade, makes sense essentially I’m working another job while on the job. But when I listen to these ‘successful’ women or moms that fit into these neat little social constructs of what it means to be the perfect mom or a successful working mom – I can’t help but be cynical. I guess what I am trying to say is when career orientated women or family orientated women offer shallow advice like it’s just about prioritization I can’t help but think why the hell do we under simplify financial stability and being a present mom – it’s absolutely soul crushing and is not helpful. Both child rearing and work have such a profound impact on a women’s mental health.
I’m not looking for accolades, or affirmations on how I show up as a mother or in the workplace. I’m looking to level set and to affirm mothers who feel this feeling of 50 and like no matter how hard they prioritize they never quite feel like they are getting it right – I see you. No amount of self help, personal biographies, mommy blogger tips of tricks can eliminate the feeling of only ever being half present – because all of it is important and you are just one person with a million priorities all of which need your attention and I think the thing you need to hear is it’s hard, it’s all important and you are just one person and no one has a great solution.
I just want to give you a virtual hug and let you know as confusing this state of being half present is that your not alone and I have no tips and tricks just love and affirmation that what your feeling is real.
I knew we were really lucky to live through our renovation at my dad’s place. I lived through a renovation, during high school, in this same home, and it was messy and inconvenient. So, when my dad said sure we could stay here during the renovation, I felt a sense of relief.
We were supposed to be in our house by now but because of unforeseen circumstances and having to rejig a few things, we were delayed. Who would have thought that this would be a blessing in disguise.
While I love our new home, the yard needs a lot of TLC and, honestly, a month of being home with the kids might have been a challenge there. Entertaining them in a barren backyard. However, being at my dad’s has been full of wonder and exploration.
I would be lying if I said this whole quarantine and virus hasn’t kept me up at night, not to mention our family suffered a great tragedy of losing a loved one way too soon during this time (not to Corona), but a few things have brought me great comfort.
One being my husband and his time in the Marine Corps. He was born for moments like this. He has been prepared for the worst since touring countries that literally saw their daily life change over night. This kind of stuff doesn’t make him nervous because he is always prepared and has a plan, and that is the greatest comfort.
Another thing we have under our belt is that my parents have always taught us how to do things ‘old school’, from gardening to canning to bee-keeping, and with the uncertainty of the days to come, this makes things a little easier. We’ve baked with my mom and learned to bake bread with my aunt and the smells coming out of the kitchen are ones to remember.
But this 21 acre property that my immigrant grandparents bought by scraping dollars together has offered my kids some of the best memories these past few weeks. From exploring the neighbouring golf course my grandfather once owned to filling buckets with estranged golf balls, climbing sand traps, sliding down them in our boots and wading through the golf course ponds. We’ve started our garden, killed time teaching the kids to chip golf balls, and collected so many worms. Getting messy and muddy at the farm has proven to be one of the biggest blessings.
The holidays for my family is such a culmination of traditions from all over the globe, and while it is insanely busy, I would not trade it for the world.
My husband and I were once referred to as ‘unicorns’ at the US Embassy in Toronto, and while I sit back and think about it, I could not think of a better way to describe our family. My husband and I are both dual citizens of Canada and the US within our own right; his mother being a US citizen and my mother being a US citizen.
Our children are now dual thanks to my husband’s service in the Marine Corps. We live in a border town, he works in the States and I work in Canada, and we are literally the most freakin’ grateful individuals – reaping the benefits of both amazing nations.
But that’s not even the half of it – my husband comes from a mixed heritage being mostly French Canadian/Métis and Pennsylvania Dutch. He grew up attending Roman Catholic school and going to mass in the Lutheran Church – phewwww.
My family is Serbian Orthodox which in its own right is steeped in lots of old world traditions. So, with that said, the holidays begin for us with American Thanksgiving and stretch all the way to Orthodox New Year (January 14th).
We rotate Thanksgiving annually between my husband’s family in Michigan and my family in Pittsburgh. This year we packed up the crew; along with my mom and set off for Pittsburgh where we spent time with my grandparents. My grandfather is an Orthodox priest – we spend a lot of time keeping things pretty conservative when he is around.
Thanksgiving dinner this year fell during Advent so on top of having a traditional turkey dinner, we also had a full seafood menu lovingly prepared by my aunt.
We spent a lot of time lounging, eating and watching Disney+. My uncle could have been a standup comedian in a prior life so we also spend a lot of time laughing to the point of almost peeing our pants.
Because Thanksgiving fell so late this year, I literally had the house set up for Christmas a few days before our 5-hour drive to Pittsburgh. When we got home Christmas festivities were literally in full swing.
A few of our weekends were spent in Michigan shopping and visiting my husband’s maternal side. His maternal grandmother, currently, has 15 great grandkids under 10 which is absolute chaos when we get together, but honestly, some of the best memories of our children’s lives. His grandmother is literally one of the most thoughtful gift givers – pouring her heart into handmade quilts for the grandkids and gifting us Kennedy half dollars collected by my husband’s late grandfather.
By December 25th we attended 5 family Christmas’ and by January 5th 3 Friendmas’. Two birthday parties (my dad’s big 60th), one date night, a wrapping present party with my husband’s step-grandparents, a night at Greenfield Village with friends and my mom, my daughters first singing recital and my middle baby’s first piano recital. A Christmas Concert/Turkey Luncheon at the kid’s school, the town parade with friends and my mother-in-law, St. Nicholas Day and finally Orthodox Christmas where my daughters débuted in the Nativity play as a lamb and singing in the children’s choir. And a “PARTRIDGE IN A FRIGGEN’ PEAR TREE.”
We baked, we gingerbreaded, we arts and crafted, we shopped, movie marathoned, gameboarded, laughed, drank and cuddled in matching pyjamas and we went to bed exhausted – ‘while visions of sugar plums danced in our heads’. But, when the kids tell me that their family is the best, I am renewed with new energy every time. It is so fun to be able to introduce our children to family traditions, some of which have been passed down for literally hundreds of years, while we create new ones. I am blessed to have married my unicorn of a husband and to share all these unique experiences and traditions with our kids.
I’m the type of person who gets really cozy and comfortable when things are good, I mean why rock the boat? I promised myself when I turned 30 I would step outside of my comfort zone and do things that make me feel a little uneasy because without risk there is no reward. I also wanted to show my girls that it’s ok to try things that are new or something you couldn’t picture yourself doing. Setting new goals and challenges are all a part of the journey.
Step 1. Start a blog, so far this journey has been really gratifying; have I become a blogging world sensation over night, no. But have people come up to me and said, ‘loving your blog,’ yes! And that is more than enough for me. I wanted to write stuff that was honest, true and gives people warm fuzzy feelings. Something that makes them feel like home when they read it. If I am doing that for you, yay!
Step 2. Move and start a home remodel. Moving with 3 little kids is like an Olympic sport, I think we placed bronze in this category, near the end I’m pretty sure my husband and I were just stuffing things into the storage bin – only the strong will survive. Also, this is the first time we ever ran into a snag with closing a home (mind you this is only are 2nd home) – and let me tell you snags and closing a home is a sure fire way to shed a few pounds. Remodel starts this week, stay tuned for more pictures and updates.
Step 3. Try one of those supplements people lose a ton of weight on and claim to be changed from. I did it, I jumped on the band wagon – the Herbal Life bandwagon. I did it for a few reasons, one being with kids I am always just stuffing whatever I can grab into my mouth – at least with the shakes I’m getting some essential nutrients; not just table scraps. Another reason being I really like some of the girls in this accountability group and the way they set goals and inspire others to do the same.
The holidays are upon us and the new year will be here before you know it. I’ve got a kick start on my resolution and so far stepping outside of that comfort zone is proving to not be too uncomfortable.
Autumn is here and I love the changes it brings with it. The air is crisper; the leaves are changing and all things apple and pumpkin are in full swing. But I have to say this summer was one for the record books. I cannot believe how much we did and saw this summer, especially with a new baby. I was anticipating it to be a low-key summer with me still trying to ‘navigate the water’ with 3 little ones but baby made it so easy to just have a summer of pure chaos and fun with his laid-back personality.
I know sometimes it can be tough to find things to do to appease the whole family but I have to say I am pretty impressed with what my husband and I were able to swing.
We kicked off the summer with a weekend in Toronto. While Toronto can be overwhelming it is a great place to be for families, there is something for everyone. We like to stay at the Sheraton Centre Hotel when we go to Toronto it is close to everything, the rooms are spacious, clean and you can always find a decent deal online (bear in mind this is Toronto we are talking about). The selling point for our family is this hotel has a pool our kids love. The pool is fully equipped with puddle jumpers for the kids, pool toys, and a full-service cabana for mommy and daddy. You literally can spend the whole afternoon poolside without having to leave your lounge chairs. You would never know laying by this pool that you were in the heart of a bustling city.
Another bonus is the Sheraton is close to a lot of great restaurants. Our favorite being Drake One Fifty. This place has a cool vibe; the food is all sourced locally and is delicious. It is nice without being pretentious and I have not run into a bad meal here. My kids are obsessed with their meatballs and from the pasta, to burgers it all gets a 10/10 from us.
A new place we discovered this round was Kiva’s. If your kids are like my kids they love bagels. If we are having a day where I just can’t get them to eat anything I can almost bet my entire life savings that they will indeed eat a bagel. Bagels are life with kids, a home without bagels is not a home. So, when we vacation we scope out where the bagels are – no bagels; equals anarchy. Kiva’s is a win for our family.
Our oldest right now is on a big kick about being a scientist when she grows up and our middle is a dinosaur lover so it was a no brainer that we would be visiting the Royal Ontario Museum, this is not your ordinary museum there is so much for your little one to touch and explore and it has one of the largest dinosaur exhibits in North America. We spent hours going through the dinosaur floor and CIBC Bank has sponsored a huge hands-on children’s area where the kids can dig for dinosaur bones, try on chainmail, play in a teepee and just let their imaginations run wild. The ROM comes highly recommended by our kids and me.
My husband works crazy hours so summers can get a little long for mama – thank God my mother is a school teacher because boy do I lean on her for a break during those long summer days where you have heard, “I’m bored,” for the bazillionth time. Mom and I got brave this summer and decided to take the kids on a Nana/Mama road trip and I have to say we did it and boy did we do it well!
My mom had been reminiscing about her childhood summers in Ocean City, Maryland, so we thought what the heck let’s do it. What kid doesn’t like summer days spent ocean side?
My mom is a Pittsburgh native so we planned to spend a few days with family in Pittsburgh to break up the trip. I have seen and done a lot in Pittsburgh but this trip I experienced one of my very firsts with the kids. Sarris Chocolate in Cannonsburg, PA. My kids are candy freaks, I am not going to deny it, it comes to them honestly my husband and I have a weak spot for candy. My uncle knowing the kids’ love for candy loaded us up into the car one night for a ride to Cannonsburg and honestly probably the best chocolate I have ever had.
Sarris is like walking into a small scale version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The ice cream parlor offers that old-world charm and seriously amazingly creamy delicious ice cream that my kids devoured. I literally some days just crave a Sarris chocolate bar and have to resign to the fact that I won’t have one again until I visit Pittsburgh at Thanksgiving time (phew that isn’t too far away). So, after visiting the family we packed ourselves up again and hit the road for Ocean City.
We booked our stay at the Hilton Oceanfront Suites and boy does this place deliver. The access to the beach cannot be beat. If you have little ones this hotel’s location makes going to the beach so easy. You are steps from the beach so when one of the kids got crabby, a bed for a quick nap was a few steps away and this made life so much easier. The pools at this hotel are glorious. There is an indoor pool for rainy afternoons but the kid’s pool is where we were posted up most days. This pool has a view of the ocean so you still feel like your beachside all day. My kids floated in the lazy river for hours and slid down the slide probably a thousand times by the end of the week. The hotel does a great job of having crafts and events poolside for the kids. My daughters are still rocking their hair wraps they got by the pool. They met poolside ‘mermaids’ who did face paint and ate poolside nachos for lunch. The baby slept on a lounger every day next to Nana while listening to the waves of the ocean crash.
It’s always a plus when a hotel is close by to some good eats and I have to say we lucked out again with this hotel’s location. We stumbled upon an amazing Mexican restaurant just two blocks away called Mother Cantina and baby and I could not get enough of the guacamole. The kids have never been one for tacos but they devoured the tacos here (so much for my cooking) and my mom who is a take it or leave it kind of gal when it comes to Mexican cuisine is still talking it about. On our last day in Ocean City we stumbled upon Barn 34 for dinner, but from what I hear its breakfast that they are known for. Dinner here, however, was a home run as well. Lots of great seafood options which my mom and I are huge fans of and a great variety of options for the kids. They fancied up the kid’s chocolate milk with whip cream and chocolate chips and now the kids ask me for chocolate milk like in Ocean City (sorry out of luck kiddos). If your kids are like mine they also love subs, subs are something that again if they are hunger-striking I can convince them to eat and in this case the Hilton is literally kiddie corner to a great sub shop named Anthony’s (also a liquor store – with a very wide variety I may add) and again I will add we were within walking distance of bagels with Shmagels Bagels being literally a 5- minute walk from the hotel.
Ocean City is an easy and fun family destination for kids of all ages. The boardwalk is loaded with activities; my kids are still at an age where the pool and beach are more than enough but literally, there is something for everyone.
Our last big trip of the season I give full credit to my hubby for suggesting. He threw out the idea of Tennessee and originally Nashville (I think he forgot we had kids – I will be going there without them thank you very much lol) but after some back and forth on Nashville he suggested the idea of Pigeon Forge.
If you live in a state or province where school starts after Labour Day let me tell you the last week in August is when you want to visit Pigeon Forge. We had the place to ourselves. It was amazing, no lines to do or see anything! From Wonderworks to Dollywood the kids could go on what they wanted over and over again without having to wait – it was the stuff dreams are made out of.
Dollywood is absolutely a wonderful location for families to visit – there are so many rides for little ones to go on. The park is extremely clean, there are areas to rest all over the place (and breastfeed) and it was a huge tick off of my bucket list. For those of you who don’t know, I played Dolly Parton in a 6th-grade play and I was totally in my glory at her park.
We stayed at The Inn at Christmas Place, this place is like being in a giant Hallmark Movie which for some like my husband was a tad bit overwhelming (he grew to love it) but for me was like a dream come true. When I booked the hotel, I worried a bit was this going to be a bit over the top, possibly too much? It was a fleeting thought because really TOO much Christmas – is it possible? No, it is not possible, this place is decorated beautifully it is decked out but not in a way that makes you nervous or want to gag. Its decorated in a way that is totally magical and makes your kids’ eyes bug out of their head in awe.
The hotel goes above and beyond in terms of service, offering milk and cookies every night before bed, free hot breakfast that is delicious, Santa and Mrs. Claus pop in periodically to visit the kids and they even offer nights where Santa puts on a Christmas concert around their breathtaking fireplace. Like, come on what is not more magical than all of this?! If I haven’t sold you yet, the hotel has two great pools that my kids played in until they were prunes and then they slept the entire night.
Pigeon Forge is located minutes from the Smokey Mountain National Park, and I need to return to this park during the Fall. I can only imagine how breathtaking the Fall foliage would be. I have visited a lot of National Parks and this one is at the top of my favorites list. With a little bit of research, I learned that there is a Great Smokey Mountain Railroad, my husband is 32 and can you believe he has never been on a train?! I did not hesitate to book this excursion to check that off of his bucket list and boy did the ride deliver. The kids had a blast and it was just the right amount of time for them on a train. The layover was in a beautiful spot close to Nantahala Gorge where you can have lunch by the water and the kids can climb a ropes course. I have to warn you though don’t be like me and my friends – leave with ample time, we got held up in traffic through the park because you have to go through Smokey Mountain National Park to get to the train depot. We literally made the train with seconds, and when I say seconds I mean seconds to spare.
Tennessee is a great family trip if you’re in the Ontario/Michigan area we broke the trip up in Lexington, KY which made the drive super easy and manageable.
We signed off with Summer this weekend on a girls’ camping trip. Anyone who knows me knows I am not the biggest camper but alas my husband’s family loves it and so do my girls. I suck it up and I actually do have a lot of fun once you drag me there. This trip was planned by my husband’s grandmother who is well into her 70s and has more energy than me and my sister-in-law combined. My girls, my niece, grama and my SIL spent the weekend at a small campground in Wheatley, Ontario called Campers Cove. It has great beach access and is the kind of place where you don’t have to worry about what your kids might get into.
We told the girls creepy stories as they eagerly listened by the fire, we ate a lot of hotdogs and marshmallows and got in our last swim of the season at the beach. There were a lot of firsts for my oldest, she lost her first tooth and learned to ride her bike with the help of her older cousin. The weekend was a hit, the first of many girls camping trips. The secret to camping I find is having great company and between my girls, my niece, SIL and my husband’s adorable grandma we’ve got this covered.
Camping, Pigeon Forge, Ocean City, and Toronto come Mom-Approved from this mama of a 5, 4 and 6-month-old.
Summer was a blast; I am sad to see it end. On to Fall adventures. Thanks for reading my friends.
Wow, 30 years old. Starting my birthday right, feeling like it is so fitting to pay homage to the things that made me who I am today and got me to this point in life pretty unscathed.
First, my parents have always been my number one fans. They are beautiful human beings who taught me how to love, respect and be true to myself always. We have always had an open and honest relationship and for that, I am forever grateful.
My family. From my pesky yet adorable younger brother who forever taught me how to deal with the male species – to my supportive and fiercely independent, free-thinking, brave and remarkable grandparents. My team of ‘always there for you’ aunts and uncles. My cousins who were my first friends and our friends who have always been like family.
My hubby. Your steadfast determination and ability to set a goal for yourself and unrelenting determination to get us to that goal I have always admired. You were first and always my best friend and our love has stood up to some unique challenges. Thanks for always having that vision.
My babies (human & canine). You made me mommy and taught me what it means to love, you’re my heart outside of my body. You taught me how to give up control ‘as much as I can’ and let the forces of nature and God’s Plan or whatever you believe in that controls ‘the dices of life,’ take its course.
My faith. You have helped me through always. When I have prayed for an answer or need peace of mind you are there. You are unwavering and while I can be selfish, you never turn your back on me.
My culture. It’s loud and a proud but has always given me a sense of purpose and sense of being a part of a greater community – something I feel is so important in helping a person feel like ‘they belong.’
My home. You have always embraced me with a sense of comfort and protection and have watched over me and my family. From the country, I call home (immigrant family & forever grateful), to the town we live in, to the four walls we call our house.
Thank you. If you know me or you don’t know me, just know that I am a very thankful person.
We found you when we were desperate. You came to us at a time that we had so many anxieties. We were young and expecting our first baby and in a fury to find a place to call our home. I have always loved dealing with female realtors (no offense to the male ones, you rock too) but I always find that the mommy realtors understand the term ‘home’ in a whole different way. Our realtor was an angel, she found you so quickly and guided us to you.
When we found you, you were empty, overgrown, painted an
imaginable peach colour and quite frankly looked sad. But I saw you, I saw you
for what you could be – home.
We didn’t have much money – Sean was just out of the
military going back to school, the baby was a new part to the plan. I had just
finished my masters with a load of student debt and a part time job.
But things began to fall in to place – the job at the credit
union taught me how to balance a budget and live off of spaghetti and love.
Family helped us, whether it was financially or by giving us their time.
Overtime our circumstances changed, two amazing jobs – one
for myself and one for my hubby fell into our laps and we invested in you.
We made you beautiful, we spent weekends making you the most
perfect home. We brought all of our babies’ home to you. You were unwavering. We
made amazing meals in your kitchen, laughed in your living room, splashed in
your bathtub, and opened presents from Santa in front of your fireplace.
For you I am grateful, I will never forget you, the memories
that you have blessed us with I thank you for.
A family of 6 living in the land of maple syrup, hockey and #1 on the list of countries with the happiest people: Canada. I am one of these ‘happiest people’ and I like to think I am a pretty good mom, my kids are happy well adjusted little humans, I must be doing something right.
I am a working mom but in Canada we get a glorious maternity leave and right now I am at home raising the littlest Riblet and his two older sisters. I will share with you stories and if you want parenting advice I will happily give it, but for the most part my babies are off limits to the public.
My hubby, he’s a smart guy with a crazy busy job, he served in the US military and is the most honest and trustworthy person you will ever meet. He makes for a great husband and wonderful best friend. He is definitely my person and makes for the perfect Capitan of our team.
Our fur baby is 7 he is a terrier and my first baby.
When I am not on mat leave, I work as a project coordinator in a sweet warehouse that makes amazing training for amazing companies. In every aspect of my life ‘I get shit done.’ From work, to mommying and wifeing. My job is to manage chaos in the workplace and amongst our 3 kids. It’s a crazy life but a good one.
So, if I am not sharing every detail about my kids why have I started this blog? Well, we bought a farmhouse! I can’t believe this finally came to fruition. We have big plans for this home and I finally get to ‘Joanna Gaines’ a place.
Join us on what I promise will be a really amazing transformation. If managed chaos sounds like your cup of tea, then this place is for you.
Raising Riblets 